So Much to Learn

Boy do I have a lot to learn in this life. Why is it that some things take forever to learn?

Let me start by saying that I have been feeling a little stressed the past few days. . . like weird butterflies in my stomach. . . heart racing for no reason. . . stressed! I do have a lot going on. . . let’s see, there is: 1) moving into a new house next week 2) picking out all the paint colors for the house by this weekend 3) packing up our life for the past 10 months in this apartment 4) moving it all into the house 5) Addison starts kindergarten in 15 days 6) Addison has a hard time with change 7) I HAVE A HARD TIME WITH CHANGE 8) Addison starts kindergarten in 15 days – didn’t I already say that? Maybe it is just that I can’t stop thinking about it. . .

Now let me also say that none of this stress compares to that of many of my friends right now. And for that I am so grateful. In the past two months I have had friends and acquaintances struggling with the following: a husband who had a double lung transplant, a husband who has a serious addiction that is tearing up the family, a child who is dying, an unwanted pregnancy, the inability to conceive, and the list goes on. Needless to say that paint colors and a new house can hardly qualify as stressors when compared to many others. But we all have different circumstances and the above mentioned happen to be mine right now. Anyway. . . in the midst of all this panicky feeling stuff, my sister suggested that I start my day by reading God’s word. Novel idea, huh? I have been on my knees continually for many weeks now. But not in God’s word. Why is that? Why is it that I have time for so many things, but don’t make the time to dig into the Bible?

Here’s what happened this morning. I woke up before anyone. I couldn’t go back to sleep. I came first thing to get on the computer to check email, google reader, weather and more. The computer can’t find a server. I notice that my modem lights are not on. My phone is not working. My TV is not working. I have no cable services at all (we have internet, cable and phone together). At 6:15 am, I call Comcast to report my outage. I am frustrated. It has not rained. It has not stormed. The sun is shining bright. Why do my cable services not work AT ALL??? I try to go back to bed. I cannot go to sleep. I get back up. I eat some cereal. I wonder why my kids are sleeping so late. Ah ha! Light bulb goes off. . . maybe I should take Suzanne’s suggestion and start my day by reading my Bible. So, I get out the chronological Bible that I recently started and start reading in Exodus. Now Angie just posted about Moses a day or two ago and so I am excited to read this story though I know it by heart. I keep reading and reading and reading. I am totally enthralled with God’s word and his story of redemption.

I know all of these stories. . . Moses in a basket in the Nile River. . . Moses and the burning bush. . . the 10 plagues. . . parting of the Red Sea. . . and the Israelites all the while grumbling and complaining about something. God is delivering them and they still complain. They don’t trust God. And then Moses tells them in Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” And it then it hit me. . . I need to be still. Wow! Probably doesn’t seem as earth shattering to you does it? How many times have I heard this before? “Be still. . . and know that I am God.” I can trust God. He is trustworthy. . . if there is one lesson God has been teaching me for the past year it is that I can trust him completely. Boy do I struggle with that. But why? I’m still working through the reason why it is so hard for me to trust. . . but I am learning. And right there on my couch this morning, God met me and whispered to me, “Amy, be still. Trust me. I have a plan for you. I love you more than you can imagine. I want to give you so much. And that little Addison. . . I gave her to you and Rick. . . and I love her more than you do. . . and you can trust me!”

Ahhhhh! The peace that I felt as I met with Jesus. And the peace followed me throughout my day. No butterflies today. No racing heartbeat. Peace. Now several times today I have had to tell God, “I trust you.” When I start to feel overwhelmed, I remind myself that I can trust God and I tell him that. It really helps. I have a long way to go and so much to learn!

Oh, and about the time I finished reading my Bible and meeting with God, the girls woke up. I fed them breakfast and we played. And then the cable came on, the computer server was back up and the phone started ringing. Isn’t it just like God to find the most unique ways to get our attention. I just love that about Him!

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6 Responses to “So Much to Learn”

  1. missy Says:

    Amy,

    I just love this post. I am in the same boat as you. We do need to learn to trust in God. HE is the only one who can bring us the peace we need. I pray that HE makes himself available to you when you feel stressed and when you don’t : )

  2. Carrie Hayes Says:

    Praise the Lord! That is so great! Amy, I am with you!

  3. Sarah Underhill Says:

    Oh Amy, I’m just teary this morning reading that. I’m so right with you on kindergarten. It’s not really a fear thing for me or a change thing for Katie Beth (she cannot wait to go!), but I’m just sad. I just don’t want her to go. I’m having a really really hard time. It’s constantly on the forefront of my mind. The inevitable and looming first day. My stomach is sick on it. I trust God. I know He’ll take care of her. I know He’ll redeem the time I will miss with her. But, still sad. Still will bawl on that first REAL full day she goes – not registration and not the staggered days, but when she’s GONE like everyday. We can sit and cry together. I’m envious of your house distraction. Maybe God is using that too to keep you preoccupied!?! Love you!

  4. It’s Looming « Sarah Underhill Says:

    […] it, I get a true sickness in the pit of my stomach and my chest gets tight.  Amy wrote a good post here about just giving it to the Lord and being still.  Being still though is when I think about it.  […]

  5. Rachel Says:

    Amy- this is SO encouraging! Like you all, I am SO sad about kindergarten starting. I don’t want to let her go, not yet. I know God will be with her though. Getting in the word for encouragement, hmmm, I think I’ll try that! Thanks!

  6. tracybrothers Says:

    Great word Amy. I just love it when God does that. He uses my cable to get my attention often. Hmmm…what does that say about me? Remember that time I kept trying to watch TV to distract myself from him and he finally just cut it off? I can so relate to what you’re saying. God has been teaching me the same lessons about trust. Can’t wait to hear what else God has for you in His Word.

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