I hate to be late about a weekend wrap-up, but our weekend wasn’t too very exciting. I don’t even remember what we did on Friday night. Probably because I got some terrible news on Friday afternoon. A mom in my MOPS group lost her husband, Chris, Friday morning. He took his own life after a battle with bipolar disorder. It was such a tragedy. I graduated from high school with Chris, so Rick and I have known him for years. Every time I woke up Friday night/Sat. morning, I kept thinking of my friend and how her life will be forever changed. I also spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about how grateful I am for my husband. And how I cannot imagine life without him. It was all very sombering.
Saturday morning we all got up and Rick decided to take us to get donuts for breakfast. We haven’t done this in a long time and the girls were soooo excited. We went to Shipleys and spent the rest of the morning running to a couple of stores, driving by our house – still foundation only, no framing yet, and then back home for lunch and rest time. We picked up the apartment a little on Saturday afternoon and then ordered some Chili’s To Go! It was a yummy stay-at-home dinner. The girls got a bath and then we all watched Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium together. Silly movie, but my girls were fascinated with the toys and the magical-ness about it! We’ve seen it before! After we put them down, I popped in Juno, which I had rented. I really like it. I had no idea what it was about, but I liked it. I laughed at some funny parts. Rick didn’t see as much of the humor, so he up and left in the middle of it. That was fine, b/c I cried at the end. Partly because it made me happy and sad, and partly because the flood of emotion I had been feeling about the death of Chris and what Kayse must be going through and how would I deal with that, etc. became overwhelming. So, I just sat on the couch and cried for a while. No big deal. Rick was already asleep. Then I got on my knees and started talking to God about all that I was thinking and feeling. I love when I can do that – just talk to him like he is right here beside me, and like he is my friend. It was refreshing and I got a great night’s sleep.
Sunday we went to church and had our little 3 year olds again. I could have sworn there was a full moon b/c they were WILD! My child, included. Rick and I just looked at each other a couple of times and shook our heads and started to laugh. The worship service was good. As we started home, I began getting a pit in my stomach. I knew that we were going to the funeral home after lunch. We had lunch and just as we started to leave it began to rain. The rain did not deter anyone from coming. We arrived early and tried to talk to our girls about what was happening and how we needed them to be quiet and not make a peep inside. Ava Jane said, “You mean we can’t say anything at all? Like, no talking – AT ALL?” Yes, she is for real my child. Such a talker. I wasn’t sure what I would say when I saw Kayse. I saw some friends from high school and it was good to see them, though not under the circumstances. There were gorgeous flowers everywhere and beautiful plants. There was a great video playing with pictures of Chris and Kayse and the boys. Kayse was holding up well. I just hugged her tight for a few seconds. There are no words really that you can speak to someone to make them feel better. I think just being there and hugs and tears and prayers are the best that I could do. As we left, the visitation line was out the door. I saw several of our MOPS moms, bringing food and waiting to speak to Kayse.
I have to say that I absolutely LOVE my MOPS group. You just can’t imagine being part of a group where all the women are in your stage of life, living and experiencing what you are and yet still have so much to give one another. We are moms of preschoolers for heaven’s sake! It is such a refreshing group of ladies. It is a privilege to be part of that group. We have walked through some very difficult tragedies with one another this year (loss of a child, divorces due to infidelity and the loss of a spouse). These things have brought us closer to one another and so much closer to Jesus. At least they have for me.
To conclude my weekend, I was able to go to dinner with some friends. I felt guilty going out to eat and talking and having fun. It just didn’t seem fair that my life gets to go on as normal and Kayse’s life will forever be changed. She is grieving and mourning and I am out to eat. It just seemed so unfair. But we all had a pleasant time and I enjoyed the company of friends that I don’t get to see and spend time with very often.
That was our weekend. Nothing very exciting. But I am grateful that I have my husband and my children. Sometimes I really take them for granted. May I always know and be grateful for the blessing God gave me when he gave me Rick, Addison and Ava Jane!